Lyla May Heffernan

On tuesday August 7, 2012 Michelle Heffernan received the phone call no parent wants to ever get. Her sweet 3 1/2 month old little girl was being rushed to the E.R. she wasn't breathing. Lyla May passed away. Another young and innocent victim to SIDS. Her family will be laying her to rest this morning. My heart breaks for Michelle and PJ. Below is her obituary and the candle light vigil being held tonight. Please keep the family in your prayers

It has been a while...

It has been some time since I last posted on this blog. My life was thrown a curve ball and we are slowly learning how to swing a bat at life's turns. I was in a relationship for 11 years and we have three gorgeous kiddos out of it. I found out he had been secretly married to someone in another country. So I amazingly did not kill him. But told him to leave and I nicely gave him a month to get out. Meanwhile he had already moved her to the United States. He conned her into forgiving him and they are now expecting a baby in March. Meanwhile I have been left to pick up the pieces of my shattered life. My kids' are trying to come to grips with everything that has occurred. My oldest daughter is heart broken. She still has hopes we will get back together. Miguel is not at all happy about the new baby. Khyla is thankfully young enough for this to not affect her too much. Throughout this process I have learned a few things. First-always trust your gut. When he started leaving every year on his own vacation and refused to take us with him that was my first sign. His whispering in to his phone and him keeping a lock on it was another sign. Him deciding to not ever want to do anything with the kids and I another sign. I knew something was going on, I would be lying if I said I didn't. Not sure if I just didn't want to accept it or if I was really just in denial. Second - NO ONE ever deserves to have gone through what the children and I went through. No ones deserves to have the floor ripped up from under them. My kids do DESERVE to have a mom and dad who love them. They deserve a dad who wants to be with them. Who respects them, not lie to them. One who puts them first and does everything and makes every decision knowing how it will effect the kids. Not one who is a dad of convenience. Third- God never gives you more than you can handle. I am a true believer everything happens for a reason. Not sure what I ever did to deserve this but it will all work out the way it is supposed to. Now don't get me wrong. I truly despise my ex. I would love to take out his knees and mess up his beautiful little face. I am angry and just don't understand how or why he went about this the way he did. How he could look at his childrens' innocent faces knowing he was deceiving them. How he thought this double life of his was not going to come out especially when he moved her to this country. The only answers I have gotten about anything has come from his wife. SO I now know how long they have been together and I know when they got married. Of course part of me and asks was it me? What could I have done to prevent this. OF course everyone says it was not you. I know I have learned what I should do if I decide to ever date again. I know I should never take the relationship for granted. I need to make sure he knows I appreciate him. I also know date night will be in order. But I also know I will NOT fall victime to this again. I deserve to be loved completely. I also find lots of humor through all of this. I am pretty sure I deserve my own reality show. I mean seriously if the Kardashians can have a show I think my life should be one. Everyday something new pops up. Sometimes good, sometimes a wtf moment, and sometimes I wonder how I even function. Through all of this my kids now get more attention from their dad. He is now involved when he has them. At the end of this I got three beautiful little loves that keep me going. That I would not change for anything......

Happy Birthday Khyla Faye...

My little name sake Khyla Faye turned 5 on March 15th...So hard to believe my chubby little baby is already 5. Time goes way too fast.
Khyla LOVES the movie The Wizard Of Oz. So that was the theme of her party this year. She had a fabulous cake that was made from a friend. She is seriously Vermont's own Cake Boss.. Khyla got lots of Barbies which she loved. She had outside play as we had a 60 something degree day. Everyone seemed to have tons of fun... Below are some of Khyla's hits this year:
*When she grows up she wants to be a ballet teacher and a great mommy. She will have 9 children.5 girls and 4 boys. She has this down to a science.
*She has LOTS of questions. She questions EVERYTHING.......
*She loves tutu's and anything sparkly
*She is loving gymnastics
*She is sassy, talkative, and quite opinionated.

But in the end I love my sassy,chunky,bossy, ballet loving little Khyla Faye!!!!

Happy Birthday Kiarra!!!!

My first born daughter turned 8 on February 22. I can still remember every detail of her birth and the smell of her baby soft skin. I cannot believe she is 8. Time seems to go so fast when you become a parent.Miss Kiarra has always been a daddy's girl but as of late she is leaning in more towards her mom. Which means from this point on anything that gets screwed up is now my fault.
She had her birthday party on the 18th and of course she chose a theme that doesn't exist. This seems to occur every year with her. Big Time Rush! She LOVES this band. She had LOTS of friends show up and had a candy bar which was a huge hit with the kids'. Thank goodness for Pinterest I got many ideas for her party from there. I have posted her photos below. Of course now is she 8 which means I only have 8 years to plan her Sweet Sixteen. Oye Vey!

New Year!!

So I have been slacking on this blog. I have not posted since December 6th.
This past Christmas we drive to Virginia to spend it with my grandma- Mammaw. This will more than likely be her last Christmas with us. She is so sick. Her liver is NOT working at all anymore. So sad to see her like this. A funny memory from this Christmas. On Christmas morning at around 7:30 am she was tired of waiting for all of us to wake up.(Yes my children sleep in every christmas morning). So she got on her walker and came down the hallway yelling" IT's Christmas, It's Christmas He came He came". All I could do was laugh in bed. Ha Ha.
She was so so excited to see the kids' expressions. Of course Miss Khyla Faye(she was named after ME and my mammaw) slowly took every single item out of her stocking with excitement. My gram loved that. She also gave instructions on how to make my favorite childhhod cake- She gave us two names for it this year. lol Dump cake and Bowl cake. YUM!!
Now that the new year has started I made LOTS of decisions are are either going to be great or really bad. First being I chose to end things with my spouse of 11 years. I am just so over being thrown to the side. I am not made a priority in his life nore are our children really. He has def showed his true colors and his not really caring about supporting us and only himself and his wants. So after 11 years I said good bye. With this change I am also moving myself and our children into a house. So lots of responsibility on my own. The whole single mommyhodd is a bit scary but I have been doing it on my own for YEARS the only difference is I will not have his money (not that he shared it anyways) to fall back on.
I have also decided to get into shape. SO far a complete failure. But everyday is a new day to succeed right?

Disneyworld Scare

Recently the kids' and I were at a birthday party. I was talking with a couple of children who have had wishes granted by Make A Wish Foundation.I am always intrigued by the kids. I am a wish granter through the foundation but i will discuss that more on another note. As I am speaking with these two boys about their wishes and where they have gone Khyla made a comment that brought back the biggest and longest 20 minute scare of my life.
May 2010 the children, my sister, my mammaw, and myself went to Florida for a week. Before I left somehow i found a website that sold safety tattoos that you place on your child and put your phone number on it. I bought them and my other half picked on me for being so psychotic. I put them on my kids on our first evening in Florida. One day during our trip we went to the Animal Kingdom. Khyla, Miguel, and Mammaw were sitting at a table while Kiarra, Becky, and myself were grabbing ice cream cones. I turned to grab the two cones and turn back and Khyla was GONE. Thinking she was laying in her stroller I walked over to find the stroller empty. I asked Mammaw where she was and she said I do not know . Instant fear came over us. We are in Disney World for gods sake. We instantly start checking the bathrooms and the monkey cage as she loved that exhibit. Nope not there. We really start getting scared at this point. One of the workers saw me frantically searching for her and called security. After a couple minutes I remember the safety tat. I run to the stroller and grab my phone and turn it on. Within about 3 minutes it rings and I notice the phone number is from Florida. Khyla had been found and they were meeting me with her. Seriously OMG i was in tears. I am thinking she must have been so scared. Nope she wasn't at least so I thought.
Now back to the birthday party. I am talking with the boys and khyla says the following." mom remember when we were in Mickey Mouse land and you got ice cream and then you left me. I could not find you so I went to the Nemo movie and you took a really long time to come get me". WOW my jaw still drops just typing that statement. My heart broke realizing she thought I left her. I would highly suggest anyone who travels with kids to have stock of these safety tats. Here is the website www.safetytat.com
I have included some pics from that trip. The one of Khyla in a purple shirt was taken literally 10 minutes before she disappeared..

Happy 11th Birthday to my favorite guy!!!

Miguel my first true love turned 11 on November 27th. Such a bittersweet moemnt for me. I can still remember when we were told we were pregnant. When we first saw his lil heart beat. i remember his first little smile. This boy has me wrapped around his fingers. I will probably never know another child like my Miguel. he is the sweetest child I have EVER met. So considerate and sweet. Does not have a mean bone in his body. If you ever do secret santa you hope he chooses your name.
For his party this year he had a Harry Potter themed party. not gonna lie I was SCARED. but in the end it turned out pretty awesome. I have included pictures of him through the years and of his food...